I kept joking with chris during service that the back of my head was really hurting....because our pew was taken and we were almost directly in front of julie and her friends.....the glares were felt, and seen, and ticked me right off.
I was praying through the entire service, I don't actually remember hearing anything the pastors said. There was so much anger and hurt swirling around my head, it was hard to hear. We'd been in service for quite a while, the kids had already been dismissed and there was this gap in between chris and I. I didn't know why, because things were so natural at home.....in comes the doubt and worry...did he not want to sit near me because she was watching? Was it because he didn't want to hurt her? So me, being me, sat as close as I could held his hand and asked him to put his arm around me. It wasn't to be rude or vindictive, but granted, I was marking my territory...all of a sudden the back of my head hurt even more.
As we were leaving the sanctuary, Julie's dad approached us, I could feel the tension in Chris's hand. What the heck was about to happen. Of course we were standing beside Julie....he shook hands with Chris (whom he wanted to kill only a few days before) and said "you made the right choice, we're proud of you and praying for you.".....WOW. Only through God's grace.
All of this is compounded by the fact that I am feeling very sick and drained and have a huge work week coming up. The kids are going to bed early tonight, and we're having a date.....if I don't fall asleep. But even if I do, it will be in his arms, awkward as that still is at times, it is still the most comforting place I know.
Lord, continue to work on me and my husband and close the gap.
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